Every company needs a name, but not everyone is actually any good at coming up with the right one. It’s always harder than you think. There are plenty of reasons I’ll go into as to why the perfect name is a complete nightmare to chase down.
It might come to you in your sleep, in the shower or even whilst you sleep in the shower. It could even mysteriously appear in your alphabetti spaghetti (psst: you probably don’t want to pick that one). But normally, we find ourselves sat in a brainstorming meeting with half gormless and half terrified expressions taking over our faces. Here’s why:
Already a big name brand
The name belongs to maybe 2, 3 or even 10 businesses already.
It’s a bummer. It’s not like you don’t deserve some credit – you’ve obviously come up with a name that works. Sadly it works so well that it’s already the face of a corporate company of 5,000 staff and £2 million to boot. Oops.
Your favourite that everyone else hates
Everybody dismisses your name the moment you say it.
It works so well in your head, and it kills you that your esteemed colleagues don’t feel the same. Slowly, the name eats away at you, like a flesh eating disease, tearing apart the trust you had in your team. I mean, really? Is this a flipping conspiracy?! It’s because I didn’t make coffee that one time isn’t it? Or because I was away for the office party?! Screw you guys, I’m gonna start my own company…
The one that got away
3 seconds after it was uttered, the name is forgotten.
It is tragically lost to the world. It was a brilliant brand name. It had layers of meaning. It described itself. It couldn’t have been a better fit for the company values. But no, it’s gone into the ether. The guy taking minutes didn’t even get it. You were doodling in your notebook at the time and didn’t get it. All meetings henceforth shall be voice recorded, religiously.
Far too punny
The name is a cryptic pun and too hard to understand.
You think it’s Shakespeare. Your colleagues sit in awe of your comedic craftsmanship. Your boss thinks you’re a moron though, because any chicken restaurant called ‘The Paltry Larder’ is far too complex to fit with the brand. You note down the name, and even your boss’s firm rejection can’t wipe that smug, self-satisfied grin off your face.
Massively inappropriate
It’s far too sexually implicit.
Your colleague doesn’t seem to get it. You warned him that a dating app could not be called ‘Jolly Rodger’. You politely informed him that the sexual undertones were far too strong. But he didn’t listen. He presents it to the team…
Silence and tension ensues.
The boss is speechless. No one, not one person in the room can be described at this moment as ‘jolly’. Not even Roger, the guy recording the minutes in the corner.
Finally, a winner
The name is a go.
Everyone likes it. It fits. It reads well. It rolls off the tongue. You can even see the logo forming in your head! You’re even halfway to a company slogan. The boss smiles. The work is done! And finally, at only 9:38pm, everyone can go home. You rejoice, pat each other on the back. “Let’s celebrate!”. You Google the domain name.
It costs £1000.
Your heart sinks…
You get back to work.
The journey to a name is not always so arduous. Often the best which come to us do just that. They appear in our minds and are the best because they were born out of instinct.
A word of advice, though: the right name is worth investing time and effort in. It speaks for the company before anything else. It gives away a hint of what the brand stands for. It is the face of the brand.
And before you even THINK of taking it… we’ve already trademarked Jolly Rodger.
Simon Says 